Fer fucks sake 😂

Where do I start ?

This last couple of weeks have been bonkers to say the least. Being back at work is not helping get the house decorated but it is providing a gazillion excuses not to run!

Since my last post about running which I wrote on Monday 7th September I have run the grand total of 4 times. I have earned 3 running medals, given up on one of the 4 runs half way round, had the biggest fucking blood blister on my foot that I’ve ever had, and run with an ex colleague of mine who since we last ran together has cooked, delivered and nurtured a new baby to crawling age and she still out ran me !!

Run one

The rocket 🚀 meant to be a fast… pb course that is 95% downhill. Except this year, it was fucked up by covid and had to be “re~imagined”

No matter how you (re) imagined it, it wasn’t fast, it wasn’t flat, and it certainly wasn’t a fucking pb!!

It was… my first non stop, no walking 5k of the year though and I actually didn’t hate it. In fact I felt quite pleased that I ran the whole way and didn’t use the c word once.

Run two…. an out and back with the over enthusiastic Sheryl who despite a bad back left me choking in her dust along the canal bank. I’m not a lover of running along the tow path. To be fair, I’m not a lover of running at all, but I like biscuits and there has to be some kind of pay back.

I moaned. And huffed, and puffed and whinged my way to a massive 1.5 miles. It was hot and muggy and I needed to pee. Why is it, when I need to pee on a run 86 million people decide to take a walk at exactly the same time. I found a path off the tow path, down a bank and slipped off for pee.

Having long perfected the triangle of opportunity I was back on the tow path in seconds but Sheryl was miles ahead. So I walked…. making her loop back to me (that’ll fucking teach her to slow down)

Run three …. Turing 10k

What the fuck, again a re-imagined version of what was meant to be. The original course sounded fucking awesome, this…. this was two laps of the same wank course that was the wank rocket course. And it was the same 2 fucking laps of the wank course that was my first ever 10k (which I hated) and just to make it even more hideous I had to do it after work.

The only saving grace to this run was that Annette was running it with me and would have to suffer at least 90 minutes of running with me.

Lap one was actually not too shit, apart from having to walk (a lot) and my foot hurting (big bastard blood blister on the ball of my foot) I managed to take almost 2 minutes off the 5k time. My blister and my mood were getting worse and the wank route was uninspiring, so lap two was dire. 10k in 1:40:40 ….. seriously?!

3 years ago I’d done it 15 minutes faster and sworn never again. I blame covid…. and blisters

Run 4 – the lemming run

Got persuaded at the last minute to join a couple of nutters running round Caldecotte, I did say they were faster than me (a fucking tortoise is faster than me these days) but they still managed to convince me, and sure enough they were faster than greyhounds chasing a hare.

I NEVER get consistent orange splodges

And I certainly don’t run/walk at a pace of 14:36 minute miles

We got halfway round and I did the decent thing. Left the speedy fuckers to it and took the shortcut back to my car !

I have, you might be surprised to learn, found something I hate more than running (decorating) and something I love more than moaning about running (making Annette run slowly for nearly 2 hours)

I still have 3 runs of the six pack to run and they are all long ones !! I’m really looking forward to doing them in the rain and the dark, I can tell you.

If this is “the new normal” it can fuck right off

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s