This morning I had the absolute delight of waiting to be seen by the Doctor.
It’s a routine appointment where he says he wants to increase my medication, i say no, and we find alternative solutions. It’s quite comical how stubborn I can be about it sometimes.
This morning the waiting room was quite full and the electronic booking in system was not working, apparently this is something that is difficult to understand by many, as they stand in front of the screen trying to work out how to work it. I walked in, noticed the very obvious sign of it not working and went straight to reception.
“Can I check in for my appointment please, your self check in machine isn’t working” I said in an overly loud voice (just to help out the queue of people trying to simultaneously operate the broken system)
I gave my name, my date of birth and my appointment time…. and the lady checked me in within seconds, quite a good alternative solution really.
The queue of (now 6) people behind me who had moved over from the broken self check in machine clearly needed more help than a GP could offer, the first one started with “I need to see a doctor” the poor receptionist was half way through making a new appointment when the patient said “no,no, this morning” a long discussion followed before it was realised that patient “A” was trying to check in. The people who followed were no brighter, in the end the receptionist said ” is anyone in the queue waiting to check in?” and was duly mobbed !
Some of the things that go on in these places are just ridiculous, one person, a man with his young daughter (about 5) neither of whom looked on the verge of death, (or even slightly unwell ) was moaning bitterly at the (admittedly now pretty grumpy) receptionist that she had said he would be seen in about an hour, and he had been there for 65 minutes, so clearly she had lied, and it wasn’t good enough, and didn’t she know how busy he was. I was rather hoping the receptionist would say “make a proper appointment not an emergency appointment then you toss pot” disappointingly she didn’t.
Another, an younger (than me) woman, who looked like death warmed up was most disgruntled that the receptionist would not tell her the results of her tests in front of a crowded waiting room (presumably she wanted us all to know how ill she was so she didn’t have to sigh, moan, cough, gasp, and scratch every ten seconds just so we knew she wasn’t malingering) to be fair, she looked pretty fucking rough and it would have been interesting to know what disease she had so when I’ve got it a week from now I can skip the testing stage and go straight to diagnosis.
Meanwhile Doctors, nurses and other health care professionals were whizzing through doors, calling names and disappearing with there appointed patients.
I play my usual “I’m bored game” of … what disease have they got. I counted at least two STD’s, a couple of “I need Valium” , an “I have an itch” one totally blatant “I’ve hurt my foot and need a sick note” and a really awesome “epic boil on the bum”
The door opens a name is called, no one moves. The name is called again, still no one moves.
I look round, wondering why no one has moved
“SHAR ….. LUT gates” is now booming across the reception area (if any of you know my friend “cammers” just add a megaphone to that and you are getting close.)
I nearly fucking shit myself !!!
“Oh I’m sorry” I said, “I’m deaf” (I think I got away with it, especially as I haven’t seen this GP before he must be new to the practise)
I know, I know, but I jumped so much I nearly knocked the lady over sitting two seats away
How many people call me Charlotte now anyway? I’m no longer trained to respond to that version of my name. Disappointed that my time watching all the sick people in the waiting room was over, I followed the Doctor down the corridor to his surgery.
“How can I help you today” he enquired in a loud slow voice (you have no idea how tempted I was to say “I need my ears syringed) so I explained my delight at being here for my 6 month review and stripped my jumper off to reveal my parkrun volunteers T Shirt. I could see he was impressed so I also slipped into conversation that I am running in a half marathon in ten days, he was even more impressed.
He took my blood pressure and began the now ritual conversation, I cut him off in his tracks
“Hang on, you just scared the bejezzus out of me by hollering my Sunday name at the top of your lungs, and I used the stairs not the lift, of course my BP is reading like a teenagers phone bill”
I walked out with a prescription for 2 months supply (woo hoo saved a tenner there) and no increase in dosage!! That’s what I call a result.
Can’t wait to go back in 6 months and I promise to pay attention next time, rather than look at all the “sick” people and imagine what they are in there for.