For the last 11 weeks I have been “helping” at beginners group 86, (the 86th couch to 5k training group put on by our club).
I say I helped but actually that’s a bit of a misnomer, what I actually did was piss about, have a laugh, disrupt everyone, abuse Annette and the (very) occasional bit of semi serious running.
Despite my regularly repeated warnings that “running is shit” that “it doesn’t get any better” and that “I fucking hate running and you will too” a surprisingly large number of people ignored me and went on to graduate today, meaning they completed their 5k parkrun. I even noticed that quite a lot of them were smiling at the end, some even thought it was a good idea to sprint finish (stupid, just stupid, I’ll have them sorted out in no time at all) why run 3 miles to kill yourself by running faster at the bloody end ?
I did the honourable thing and congratulated everyone who finished, admittedly for those who got a sub 40 it was through gritted teeth, but for all the real runners who run at my pace it was genuine heartfelt cheers !!
Simon let me use his camera so I took 700 ish photos, probably all out of focus or with heads cut off and then handed it back for him to go through, I hope he likes the one of the dog having a shit, I took a close up especially for him ! (Hilarious i know).
We had the traditional coffee afterwards and I bought a piece of cake from the fundraisers stall (it’s for charity, it would be rude not too) then Annette bought a massive muffin, so I ate that too (why the fuck am I so fat?) while we chatted and discussed how much we love running, I never have much to say at this point, but I smile sweetly and try really hard not to get talked into doing more running.
Graduation day is done for today and I think I probably enjoyed it more than I enjoyed my own graduation…. who am I trying to kid, I absolutely loved it and I think I might have just had my first EVER runners high !!