Shitting hell

Why is it, when you need a good nights sleep so you can at least look “not the shittiest runner on the planet”, you spend the night coughing, needing a billion fucking wees and with random agonising pains in places you shouldn’t have agonising pains.

Today it’s the turn of the toe next to my little toe on my right foot to be ridiculously painful for absolutely no reason at all, I haven’t banged it, bumped it or blistered it, the nail is fine and yet ….. it’s fucking hurting.

I have been in bed for well over 90 minutes and have not had a wink of sleep, and of course my painkillers are in the other room and my bedroom door sounds like a creaky coffin lid opening (and twice as loud) so I don’t want to go and get them and wake everyone else up because they are probably sleeping.

I could read my book, but if I do I’ll probably read for hours and then I’ll be tired and grumpy tomorrow (not that anyone will notice, I’m a grumpy bitch anyway, and even worse when I’m running) but I had rather hoped to enjoy tomorrow’s run, and if I have to do it on not enough sleep, it will take a fucking miracle for me to not hate it.

I’ve been seeing lots of Facebook posts from my running friends saying how nervous they are about their runs, I’m pretty chilled about mine to be fair, I think I chose well after weighing up the options.

The cut off time for the half eliminated me from entering, the cut off for the 10k was not overly generous considering jet lag, climate, temperature and scenically challenging conditions, so I opted for the 5k with a full 90 minutes to get round, it’s a bit like doing a parkrun except it’s not fucking free and it’s not weekly. (And I get a medal)

Anyway, it’s now twenty past bastard midnight, my alarm is set for 6:15 which means I will have less than 6 hours sleep. I feel tomorrow’s run might be a sweary one.

I still need to decide between shorts and full length tights, why the fuck didn’t I pack 3/4s, I have opted for a vest top which means it will be blowing a fucking gale while the sun shines brightly so I get wind and sun burn in equal measures (as if my face doesn’t look redder than a baboons arse when I run anyway) and which underpants do I opt for …. all these are serious last minute decisions that I now have to make while I’m trying to heave my more than ample arse out of bed in time to get our 7am taxi. I can’t find my oakleys- hope they are at home because my bank manager won’t be impressed if I “treat” myself to some more. All in all, it’s not going to well so far!!

I should be grateful, at least I haven’t got to run 20 miles like some of my friends, in what I understand are chilly, breezy conditions (there are severe weather warnings in place I heard) but then…. if you choose your distance badly and sign yourself up to run a fucking marathon, you’ve only got yourself to blame !! I’ll stick to my cheeky little 5ks


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